Why am I always the last to know?

This week is just a really dumb week. Like I don't even want to be awake. All I want to do is sleep. Every little thing is irritating me. Today, we were making plans to hang out tomorrow. It was supposed to be me, Katrina, Jamie and Hollie, maybe Jess as well. Well, Katrina called Hollie to let her know that she couldn't because she had to work. Yeah, I was the last one to know. Why am I always the last to know? Why do I have friends? It seems that all my good close friends around here don't even care about me anymore, and the ones that did care are gone now. During the school year, I knew that I didn't have to worry because there was at least one person that I could talk to, but ever since she left, things have changed. I don't know what it is, but something is up with my friends. Like, they don't even care that I am here. None of them want to hang out with me, and when they do and I shoot out some ideas, they just ignore them. They don't really care. It irritates me greatly. Am I doing the same thing to them? I don't know. If I am, then they should tell me, because I don't like that feeling. I also decided that I don't want to be 18. At least not this weekend. I'm not ready. I am not ready for the responsibility that is to come. Maybe I am, I am just not having a good day. I don't know what it is, but I don't want to celebrate my birthday. Ya know, every year, I get so excited for my birthday, but every year it is a disappointment. EVERY YEAR!!! I don't remember the last time I had a "good" birthday. I am always babysitting or something. I never get to have fun and I never get a cake unless I make it myself. Great Birthday huh? I find it pointless to celebrate. I don't like getting presents either. I hate presents. They are a waste of time and money if you ask me. That is why I don't like Christmas. No body ever celebrates it for the real reason. Anyways, I guess that is enough of my venting. Thanks for your time.