I've been so lazy

To tell you the truth, I have been too lazy to type out a blog. Last week was a really long week. We had Vacation Bible School at our church last week. It was fun. The kids seemed to have a great time. I was working down in nursery. I got to play with one kid. It was just for the worker's kids, but there was only like one kid down there everyday. How fun? We had one kid and two workers. Pretty much, we had Noah sneak us some food and we ate. It was overall a good time. The first day I was there, which was Tuesday, I had to help the 3-5 year olds with their crafts. They all turned out so cute.

Saturday, I went down to Illinois. We went to Pecatonica to see some family. While we were down there, I played frisbee and air hockey with my cousins. My cousins Kayla and Megan were here for like a month. They live in Texas, and they are going back at the end of the week. Megan (7) wants to go back, but Kayla (14) doesn't. All her family is here, and she wants to stay. Unfortunately, she can't.

Sunday, my friends and I went back down to Illinois. We went to Cherry Valley, which is like a little town outside of Rockford. I go to Rockford all the time with my family. We went to CherryVale mall. It is a pretty big mall. Bigger than anything here in boring Wisconsin. I went to Starbucks, and that is all the money I spent there. I thought of you Steph while I was there. It was fun. We wanted to go to Magic Waters waterpark. It would have been nice because it was so hot. We had a good time. After the mall, Jamie asked Katrina and I if we wanted to go to dinner at her work because they were having like an employee appreciation dinner. She works at this big golf resort, so it would have costed us a lot to eat there, but it was free. The food was pretty good. After that, we went to Walmart in Lake Geneva. Oh yeah and before the dinner we went to Walmart in Delavan. The funny part is, this coming Thursday, we are going to Walmart in Mukwonago. That's three walmarts in one week. That is amazing.

I guess that is really all I have to say. If I think of something else that is important, I'll be sure to let you know.

Sorrowful times indeed

I am a tad bit sad at the moment. I have been thinking lately. I know that is hard to believe, but I have. There are two people that have been on my mind a lot lately, which have caused me to be sad. These two people are people that I may not see for a very long time. The first person that I was thinking about last night was Angelina. I miss her so much. It isn't the same without her. I know that at least right now, it is no different that last summer, except for this fall, I know she isn't coming back. She was the one person that I felt I could talk to about anything. She helped me with everything I needed help with, and she was just there to listen. She is awesome. The second person on my mind recently is my friend Sarah. She was tragically killed three years ago Wednesday. Yes, July 26 will be the three year anniversary of her death. That day was the worst day of my life. It beats every bad thing that has EVER happened. I always get so depressed during this week. I miss her so much, but I know that one day, we will be together again, and she will be safe.

R.I.P Sarah
Born - October 15, 1987
Died - July 26, 2003

After a long posting break

I have decided to come back and post some more. I am hoping that everything turns out because my brothers like to look at inappropriate sites and put viruses on our computer. We will have to see.

Well, this week has been crazy. I have been tempted to get up and leave, but I can't do that. My mom is working 76 hours this week, leaving us to watch my nephew all this week. Well, Christian is out of control. He is too much for me to handle, and with three of us kids and four days gone this week, I have been the one who has watched him the most. I have been watching him for the last three days. I got to hang out with my friends on Monday, and I am going out tomorrow too. It should be fun. Christian has brought me a lot of problems this week, and I have two people to thank for being there for me. One is Christ. He is so great. It is so good to know that even if I can't talk to anyone else, I have Christ there for me. I couldn't have done it without him. The other person I have to thank is Michael. He has been texting me all week asking me how I am doing and looking out for me. I am so thankful for such a great friend.

Other than that, nothing has been going on. Vacation Bible School is next week. I was asked to do nursery for the worker's children. I don't really want to do it, but I am going to. I wanted to actually be a group leader or something, but I will do whatever they want me to do. I guess that is all I have to say for right now.

I love this one.

I created a Slide Show! Check it out!

I was hoping today would be better

Needless to say, today is a lot worse than yesterday. I need to just take one look at my friends and decide whether or not they are really worth being considered a "friend" versus an "acquaintence." I don't know why everything has to go wrong around my birthday. How do you think that makes me feel? It makes me feel terrible. I had this countdown going, and EVERYTHING that was on my countdown went wrong. Okay it was only two things. We'll see if the last thing goes wrong. I am supposed to go to this grad party on my birthday, but I don't even want to go. I don't want to be around the people that are making me feel this way. The sad thing is, it is starting to happen at church to. I am being left out of everything. Everytime the youth group or whatever would go to Culvers or DQ after church, I was never asked. Yesterday, my buddy Emily, who has only gone to EDBC since October told me that she wasn't going to go to church last night because she had to pack. She left for New York today. Anyways, she told me that Saul needed a girl to go on visitation with him, Brady, and Chacho. I could have gone, but I didn't find out until last minute. That isn't the point though. The point is that they didn't even ask me to go. I have been going to that church since I was 11. I have been a member of the youth group since I was in 8th grade, and now I am being left out. I don't know if things will change come September when we switch. I don't know, but it feels like I don't even want to be a member of the youth group anymore. I really do. Don't get me wrong. I love my church and youth group, but I hate being left out feeling like I don't belong. Maybe I don't belong, and if that is the case, then I need to do something about it. What should I do? Should I go get some "real friends" who won't turn on me? Should I stop going to youth group and Sunday school? Should I just do nothing but lay in bed all day and be a loner? What do I do? I don't want any of these things to happen, but it seems like this is the way it is going to be. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and my youth group, but I don't think they love me back, or at least not the way I love them. I would love to just go back to Elementary School, where it wasn't a big deal if you had lots of friends. What am I going to do next year? Will things get better for me? All of my friends will be off at school, and I won't be. I will be here. I hope things get better once I start Maranatha, because I really can't go on like this. I am very thankful for the few close friends that I do have. I love you guys so much and I would do almost anything for you. *Sarah, now would be a good time for you to be here with me, but you are in a better place. I miss you so much, and I will come visit you in about two weeks. I love you. Rest in peace*

Why am I always the last to know?

This week is just a really dumb week. Like I don't even want to be awake. All I want to do is sleep. Every little thing is irritating me. Today, we were making plans to hang out tomorrow. It was supposed to be me, Katrina, Jamie and Hollie, maybe Jess as well. Well, Katrina called Hollie to let her know that she couldn't because she had to work. Yeah, I was the last one to know. Why am I always the last to know? Why do I have friends? It seems that all my good close friends around here don't even care about me anymore, and the ones that did care are gone now. During the school year, I knew that I didn't have to worry because there was at least one person that I could talk to, but ever since she left, things have changed. I don't know what it is, but something is up with my friends. Like, they don't even care that I am here. None of them want to hang out with me, and when they do and I shoot out some ideas, they just ignore them. They don't really care. It irritates me greatly. Am I doing the same thing to them? I don't know. If I am, then they should tell me, because I don't like that feeling. I also decided that I don't want to be 18. At least not this weekend. I'm not ready. I am not ready for the responsibility that is to come. Maybe I am, I am just not having a good day. I don't know what it is, but I don't want to celebrate my birthday. Ya know, every year, I get so excited for my birthday, but every year it is a disappointment. EVERY YEAR!!! I don't remember the last time I had a "good" birthday. I am always babysitting or something. I never get to have fun and I never get a cake unless I make it myself. Great Birthday huh? I find it pointless to celebrate. I don't like getting presents either. I hate presents. They are a waste of time and money if you ask me. That is why I don't like Christmas. No body ever celebrates it for the real reason. Anyways, I guess that is enough of my venting. Thanks for your time.

Withering Away

Summer as we all know is withering away. It is going by so quickly. I need to do something with myself. I am going to be 18 this weekend, and I don't have a job. I have done nothing this summer but hang out with my friends and sleep. Everything has changed this summer. I am so off schedule right now. I need to do something useful with my time. That sounds so much easier than it is. I was thinking that if I can't get a job or whatever then I should take up reading or something. I have some books that I bought or were given to me that are things that I could be reading. They are all good books, written by Elizabeth George and John MacArthur. Well I shouldn't say that they are good yet. I am sure that they are, but I haven't brought myself to reading them yet. I should do that. Well, for the rest of the summer, I am pretty much not doing anything. I am not 100% sure, but I might be going on a road trip to Ohio at the end of the month. We are just going to go for like 2 or 3 days. It'll be fun I think. If we go, it is going to be Jamie, Katrina, and I. We aren't sure if we are going to go to Cincinnati or Cleveland or both. Either way, I can't wait. I think it'll be so much fun to get out of the house. I didn't think my parents would let me go, but then I remembered that I will be 18. I can't believe that I turn 18 this Saturday. I am excited. That day is also the day of my close friend's graduation party. I can't wait. Well, I guess that is enough rambling. More posting later. Sorry it has been so long.

Thank you Stephanie

Something funny has happened. Ok not really. I just felt like saying that. Actually today, I am pretty stressed. I am unsure of what I am going to do for college. I can't afford it right now. I have about $800 that I got from my graduation party. That is it. My parents can't afford to help me right now. I don't really have any financial aid. I don't know what to do. I was thinking about just taking a year off and just take a few classes at Gateway. That way, I could still work and get money but then not get out of the school routine type of thing. I don't know. I hate this decision making stuff, but I need to figure it out. On a better note, I had my graduation party yesterday. It was fun. Me and four friends went on the Water Trampoline and we had fun. We were jumping on it, and it is really hard to keep your balance on there, so we were sliding all over the place. Then, we were jumping off of it into the lake. That was fun. I was really scared to do it at first, but then I overcame my fear and I jumped off. It was great. After we were done jumping off of it, we went under it. That was fun. It was like dark under there and everything, but we had fun. The worst part of all of it was the seaweed in the lake. It was like touching us and it was so gross. We were screaming. Overall, it was a fun night. I really enjoyed it. I think that is probably enough of my babbling. I know I haven't written in a while, but I don't really have anything very important to say. Before I go, a huge thank you goes out to Steph for commenting. I have gone almost 40 blogs without any commenting, so Thank You Steph. I miss you and I can't wait till you come back.